graveyard sex

i can't help but say something like "it's never been like this"
we defined the word cool and i traded a heart for a smile.
we slept together with our heads touching and i wondered if our brains would melt together and we would share the same dreams, but then wake up not remembering.




reading this just made me cry.
and this is why i love kyle milton.
in a world of a million shitty stupid zines (none of which has EVER impressed me) and mediocre writers, the anteater's dream is the only one worth reading.
it will make you laugh til you cry, and it is amazing.
issue three was just pressed.
and its rare reading something this good, let alone from a person you know, let alone a friend of yours.
and it makes me wonder, just like your friend's shitty band, is it better because i know him?
but the answer is no, its not, he is an incredible writer and an incredible dude, at the same time and seperately.

really, i wouldnt be doing this for just anything.
do yourself a favor and contact him, he will send you issue three, and you will fall in love.
he might even make a copy of issue two or issue one, he is a pretty nice dude.

www.myspace.com/skeetking420420


i had a pretty stellar weekend.
spring is almost here and can't fucking wait.
goodnight.

collector

compose yourself
get your thoughts down
decide what it is you have to say
because literal or not
whatever it might mean
can't be the worst decision you have ever made

but the liquid left in my lungs still feels foreign
like the stench left from that room on your skin
and its been 1,000 days but i can taste it
slightly sweet, bitter, smoke

we do this every night
still pretending like
we don't know it always ends the same

every sleepless night, has been the time of my life, i just wanted to thank you.

my life as of late has been a whirlwind of people coming and going and a touch of weird drama out of no where.

it has left me feeling...sort of disoriented? its not something i can easily describe.

some of my favorite people have found more important people, and paths, i guess these things happen, but its been hard on me and i miss them terribly. some people i had terribly missed are suddenly back in my life, which is exciting and relieving, and there are some refreshing new faces and personalities that mostly cancel out all of the aforementioned.

mostly...

also, being broke as hell isn't helping anything.

so its weird having so much happen at complete ends of the spectrum. it leaves you floating uncomfortably in the middle, but thankfully, in my case, leaning more to the bright side.

all in all, im sure things will get back to normal soon enough, they always do.
my band, is keeping everything together quite nicely, writing is going extremely well and we are all really, really excited about playing out and sharing it with everyone. if i didnt have it as an outlet i think i would lose my mind.



the future is wide open.

baby, its cold outside.

its christmas eve.
today i realized for the millionth time, how amazing my family is.
and how lucky i am to have them.

my mom and dad are the cutest people i know, they are totally still in love after 28 years of marriage. it blows my mind and continuously gives me hope that there is someone out there that i am meant to happily spend the rest of my life with. its a crazy thought, and sappy, but true.

the ride to mount airy, was cramped, but fun.

christmas eve at the lundy's is always unpredictable.
but todays event became legendary when i awoke from a nice nap to the sound of my uncle and grandfather shooting a 9mm pistol from the front porch.
arriving downstairs, what looked to be the arsenal for a small army was spread upon the couch.
now, i hate guns, with a passion, but after catching up on what i had missed, i just had to laugh.
classic lundy, man.

now, i am the opposite of a religous person.
i don't believe in christmas.
but i love this time of year and what surrounds the holiday, getting to spend quality time with family that you dont get to see very much and giving well thought out presents to the ones you care about the most.

my life is back on the upswing and i am excited about the near future:

tomorrow morning
lindsey
the nutcracker
new years eve
collector
playing music with ryan dean
going back to school
starting a career

and anything that comes my way.
i am ready for it.


merry christmas everyone, i hope you are spending it with the ones you love.

HEY!

i'm thirsty...

no.


but really, i figured it out, man.
i got this.

im going back to school and it feels amazing.

and so relieving.

i know exactly what i want to do, and it only took me 27 years to be sure.

fuck you jimmy johns, i'll be leaving soon.

this winter might actually end up being pretty alright.


<3

watermark

i've got this chronic problem,
where i know exactly what the outcome of a questionable situation is going to be.
but i completely ignore that
and just go for it anyway.
i guess, in hopes of the 0.000000000000001% chance
that it won't turn out the way i know its going to.

and EVERY SINGLE TIME i think that i have learned my lesson.

nope.
completely disregarded.

fuck, its draining.



on an unrelated side note:

why is it so fucking hard for people to be honest!?!?

everyone should try it, it rules way harder than you think.




so...
i'm pretty unhappy with my life right now and i have no idea where to go from here.

i have no doubt that i will figure it out eventually, but for now, its becoming increasingly difficult to stay optimistic.

and that is a feeling i'm not very used to.


lately im fighting awfully hard the desire to fall back into a hermit like state that once was very comfortable.
but i was happy to get out of.

i guess it is that time of year, though.

luckily tuesday night will always be dollar night.
see you at the bar, man.

today's the day.

i think i might have been a little bit upset when i posted that last entry.


tonight we drink to new beginnings.




<3