winter dies the same way every spring.

the weakerthans are the only band that can still bring tears to my eyes every fucking time.
every time.



i just saw the movie sunshine.
i have to say,
it sort of blew me away.

im unstable at the moment but it feels good to be this vulnerable every once in a while.

this year is going to be an interesting one.
on both side of the fence.
i dont know if that really makes sense.
it does to me.
this blog isnt going to make much sense, i can already tell.

i apologize in advance.

lately i have discovered some new things about myself.
i like knowing myself so well.
you know, all you have to do is listen.
its scary sometimes.
i go into my head and just think about the things i do, or don't.
i know every issue.

but lately i have been wondering why.
its not as easy to pinpoint.
and what is the cure exactly?
and would i change anything if i could?

i think i genuinely enjoy the turmoil as much as the highs.
that may be fucked up but its true and i am okay with that.
i feel alive.
and im not depressed, or really crazy, or have any serious problems.
i am thankful for that.
and im glad i can still be honest with myself, as well as most people i know.

there are some people i miss too much.
there are some people i dont miss as much as i should.
there are things i cant control.
there are things i can, but don't.
there are games i play that arent healthy.
and i wish i could stop before i hurt someone else that i love.
is knowing these things even helpful?

this is going deeper than i originally desired it to go.
im opting out before it gets out of hand.





in the end, it feels good to be able to say, if i love you, you know it.

<3