i need to write more, so i will.

i have always denied that i was a "hopeless romantic", but lately i have been thinking more about what that actually means. to me, it used to mean that when, in a relationship, you went out of your way to kiss in the rain, or you laid rose pedals upon the bed before "making sweet love" or you leave a trail of love notes for your sleeping partner leading them to a box of chocolates and a valentines bouquet. but lately, it kinda means you have dreams and ideals regarding romance that are almost implausible, fairy tales. now, according to this definition, i AM a hopeless romantic, i think most people are. but im also a realist, in that, i realize that these thoughts and hopes are most likely going to never occur in real life, scenarios are never going to pan out the way that i imagine them, yet, i still have them. what is this exactly? i somehow never get exactly what i want, but somehow persevere, without becoming discouraged or depressed or bitter.

would these things still be on my mind if i had never watched cinderella as a child, or heard the story of rapunzel? a part of me says yes, a part says no. i guess there is no way to really tell, and there is no real answer to this, only an opinion, of which i still have conflicting views. just something i was thinking about. it seems to me romance is dead. patience is dead. there is no mystery left. the internet killed it, technology killed it. you know almost everything you would like to know about a person by just clicking a website. all the questions you would have to have actually asked 15 years ago. this in turn, forms an opinion in your head. i like this person, i hate this person, this person is hot/ugly. i make opinions based on peoples musical taste, their favorite movies or authors, and yet, in my own life, i have very little of these things in common with my best of friends. of course there are some core similarities, but for the most part, on paper, on viewing them on the internet, i might not be inclined to befriend them.

today i sat down to write a letter, a real letter (one you send in the mail), to an almost complete stranger, and realized that i didn't even own paper. i had no envelopes, i had no stamps. this struck me as incredibly sad, amongst other things, but i wont get into all that.

do yourself a favor, take someone you barely know, write them a letter, say anything you are thinking about, be only yourself, no fronts, don't hold back, after all, what have you really got to lose? tell them something about yourself, anything. ask them a question, start out with something simple, like "what's your favorite shape?". remember what its like to feel a pen in your hand, the sound of paper tearing, dream about their reaction to the letter, anticipate receiving one in return. don't lurk them on the internet or warn them of its arrival, or chat with them on aim, or text them, kick it old school for as long as possible.

now, see what happens.
simple as that.
i feel like we have lost a lot of things in this day and age, that seem important to get back. im going to start doing some things differently, maybe you will too, if anything you might start to feel some things you never thought you could again.

just an idea...


goodnight.